Tuesday, February 14, 2006

My funny Valentine

We celebrate St. Valentine's Day today, the traditional day on which lovers in certain cultures let each other know about their love.

I wonder why we need a certain day for this aim? If this would be the one and only day to prove your love to your beloved, how sad the world would be?
Isn't it more or less a commercial date, where florists blossom because of the outstanding turnovers? Where thousands of men soothe their bad conscience and run like hell to get the most withered flowers.

A friend of mine told me she likes to get flowers from her husband on St. Valentine's Day. Her husband says, he won't buy her any flowers at St. Valentine' Day. I wonder what will happen? Will a matrimonial conflict occur? Will he buy flowers despite his attitude? Will she forgive him, when he will come with empty hands but an amiable smile?

Tina and I decided not to give presents to each other but I feel the light and tender nagging of the white part of my heart. Corazon tan blanco. The deep dark part of my heart tells me not to worry. You have made a decision. It is set. No problema. Steinscheißer Karl.

Play the "Steinscheißer Karl" game. Invented by Josef Hader, I have written about him here. It is an easy game. You lose and you are "shot" whenever you will use the word "who". You will get the answer: "It is Steinscheißer Karl". And then game over.
He plays the game with the devil in one of his cabaret programs "Privat". He comes to hell and meets "Luzi" Lucifer. They decide to play the game and Josef can leave hell when he shots Luzi. Luzi has never been shot before besides one time. He was shot by Jesus. Jesus said : "Truly I tell you, one of you will betray me". Luzi asked: "Who"?
Josef starts to explore hell and accidentially meets Reinhold Messner, the famous Austrian climber. He sits round the purgatory with all the other sinners, but he is alive. Josef asks him what he is doing there. He answers: "Well, no living human being has been here before. I wanted to be first".
That's what explains the sense of Messner's life. He has been the first to climb all mountains higher than 8.000 meters. Etc. etc.
Josef goes to Luzi and tells him: "There is one person in hell over there, that is still alive". Luzi looks with eyes torn open and asks: "Who?". He is shot and Josef is free. He succeeds.

If you come home with empty hands on St. Valentine's Day and your wife will ask why? Tell her that you had the most beautiful bunch of flowers and the most perfect Valentine's card. But on the way home you got into a fight with a mean and evil person you know, who stole your precious acquisitions and ran away.

Let me guess what your wife will ask?

You will be the winner. Nothing can happen. Don't be afraid.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Listen to your corazon tan blanco Konrad. I'm sure Tina won't mind. A woman always appreciate any hint of romance from the man she dearly loves. Happy Valentine's Day to the two of you.


6:32 AM  
Anonymous Jayred said...

Belated Happy Valentine's Day to you and your wife, Konrad!

I'm not so much a Valentine's Day kind of person. I don't expect any gift from my husband every 14th of February. For me, everyday should be V-Day.

But funny enough, I received a surprise gift from my hubby yesterday -- a Swiss music box. Admittedly, that was a pleasant experience.

And so, did you follow the nudgings of the "white part of your heart"?

4:04 PM  

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