Declaration of war - Jan "Ulle" Ullrich
Jan "Ulle" Ullrich has problems with his weaker self. Because it is probably a pug. It loves coziness, it likes to be stroked, and if it is not dragged on the road it becomes fatter all the time.
At the same time Ullrich would have all the preconditions (in cycling slang: the grains) to become a national hero.
Should he beat his weaker self one day, he could conquer France for the second time. Like in 1997, when colleague Udo Bölts affronted the weaker self in Ullrich. "Quäl dich, du Sau" (struggle harder, you swine), he shouted at him.
In the following years the weaker self took revenge and tortured Ullrich: It brought him embarrassing illnesses (fatness, bad knee, asthma), with which Ullrich was not able to ride his bicycle.
For healing it suggested remedies that brought him doping reproaches.
Only once, Ulle and his weaker self were in agreement with each other and escaped everybody: at the steering wheel of a Porsche with 1,41 ‰ blood alcohol. Not only sports journalists named this leg of Ullrich's life as "hit-and-run offense". After this Ullrich had the chance to hand over something besides the "yellow jersey" (for the leader of the "Tour de France"): his driving license.
Another day, Ulle wanted to dance, but his weaker self did not accept his wish. So he overcame it crafty with an Ecstasy pill and let loose his weaker self like hell. Stupidly these trick led to a positive doping test for Ulle.
Now he wants to get rid of his weaker self finally. But this will take time. Therefore he had to delay his season start............